Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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