Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
