But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
