You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
