i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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