I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Randomize
