ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
