I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
