I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
