my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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