Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
