He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
