Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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