My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize