just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
