I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
