I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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