very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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