I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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