It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
The air taste purple.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
