walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
