Whod you bang
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Randomize
