If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
