Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
sex in a hospital.. check
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
