Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
People with herpes should wear stickers.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
