Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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