If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
so explain again why im purple
no
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
