My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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