pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize