hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
