there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
