i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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