Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
