Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Randomize
