YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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