I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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