tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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