kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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