Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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