haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
