You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
