I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
