me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Randomize
