just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
did you just send me my own nude
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
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