I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
