Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Reggie can tackle my bush.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
