Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Randomize
