I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
