I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize