This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
