I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
