You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
