I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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