yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
