OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Screwed.edu
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
