remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
