Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Randomize