I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
