There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
