i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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