4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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